A Chat With Kim

I've been out of town and haven't had a chance to post in a while. I had to fly over to North Korea to punch Kim Jong-il in the face. That probably sounds strange, but it really wasn't. I booked a morning flight into Pyongyang, took a cab over to the palace, socked Jong-il in the teeth, he and I got breakfast, and then I took an evening flight back to the States. But I'm back now so I'll be able to post a bit more often.

One thing Kim and I talked about over our Egg McMuffins was rivalries. He's got a pretty healthy one going on with South Korea, so he knows the space. I pointed him to Nick's post on rivalries over at Buffalo This. Kim's response? "That guy is one punk-ass bitch."

We high-fived and I headed for the airport, where I had a nice chance to think about what a rivalry really is. Mirriam-Webster defines a rival as "one of two or more striving to reach or obtain something that only one can possess." I think this definition is perfect. Nick and I are both trying to achieve superstardom and superior knowledge on roaming land animals, and yet only I can possess it. It's a bit sad for him, but for people who have ever met Nick (and I hope nobody ever has to go through that), they know that if he wasn't blogging, he'd be cleaning out the deep fryer at Jack in the Box.

So to Nick (whoever he is...my bet is on Nick Nolte), I accept your "rival" terminology. Just don't think you've got a shot.

This Will Not Stand

Apparently Nick over at Buffalo This thinks he's some sort of A-list celebrity, and that he has the right to badmouth bison whenever he wants.

This will not stand.

This blog will serve to be the true A-list take on the intersection of Bovinae and linguistics. It will also espouse the many qualities of the bison, showing its superiority to the weak-sauce buffalo (PUN INTENDED).

I'll also probably write some random shit about other stuff.